In this chapter, we'll talk about:
losing interest in an idea because we tell others about it too soon.
self-discrimination and giving excuses not to pursue an idea because we're too afraid.
+ three writing prompts.
"What I was once so passionate about is now a fleeting thought. I have so much fear every single day, and feel like I have so little time. I don't stand for anything or really believe in anything... Time is flying. I need to slow down and find my focus."
- From Girlboss. Guru's Personal Journal (2021)
IT IS ROUTINE TO JUDGE OUR SUCCESS BASED ON HOW long we have wanted something against how long we have worked for it (versus how far we have actually come). Because as we age, we tell ourselves lies to make difficult answers easier. We tell ourselves it's too late to pursue a passion or an idea because if we do, others will judge us. They will form such strong opinions that we will be unable to ignore those external forces, and it'll affect our confidence anyway.
Talking openly and too often about what we want can suck the excitement and anticipation around that idea out of us, leaving regret or the notion we were foolish to ever believe we were capable of pulling it off in the first place. We become embarrassed by our dreams.
"Whenever you're talking about a work in progress, don't. Just shut up." - Jack Heffron (The Writer's Idea Book)
There is an internal build up of motivation and determination that drives us to investigate a goal and put some early plans in place first, but then we hold off. We hesitate before having to make any larger (or more expensive) decisions—if we do, we're really taking this step, we're actually doing this. It's real.
MORE RESPONSIBILITY MEANS MORE THINGS WE CAN FAIL AT, AND failing publicly when we have announced a new venture is a fear some of us cannot overcome. But was the fear of failure too strong to prevent those first steps? Was it a valid excuse then, when failure was far from our minds? Now, is it because we fear many other things and feel the weight of possibility crushing us and compacting what would be an endless ocean of opportunity into one brief (but effective) panic attack? The panic attack that, ultimately, holds us back.
Is it ever really 'too late', therefore, to try something new or make a change? We are self-discriminating when we tell ourselves we're too old or young, we're the wrong person or we're not capable because [enter excuse here]. Society's progress teaches us acceptance and understanding of others, but somehow we never grow to allow ourselves to blossom in this world where anyone can be anything. This is all what we teach our children and what we promote in the workplace, but it's never what we accept in the sanctuary of our minds for ourselves. There, we constantly limit what we can do because of who we are. If we are not the best cheerleaders for our own success, then who is?
Open Your Journal
Turn to a blank page in your notebook to answer the following questions:
Have you ever told yourself it's too late to start something? What was the excuse you gave?
Write about an idea you were excited about but quickly lost interest in, and why you think this was.
Make a list of the negative things you tell yourself to avoid making an important decision.
Need A Journal?
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