In this chapter, we'll talk about:
feeling guilty or shallow when we feel grateful for the smaller things in life.
accepting it is normal to be jealous of another's luck and good fortune.
+ three writing prompts.
"I fear, always, that anxiety will hold me back, then I settle for comfort and convenience and tell myself I'm lucky and should be grateful I've gotten this far. And I am for the most part. I just worry time moves so fast, and I'm forgetting to really live."
- From Girlboss.Guru's Personal Journal (2021)
WHEN WE THINK OF GRATITUDE, WE MAY PANIC AND WRITE the top five things we think we should be grateful for: family, friends, health, financial stability and possessions. We're covering the bases of what, in our mind, a decent, kind and grateful person would document on paper, and potentially then feel guilty because we're not religious or spiritual, and so are unable to thank a higher power for our success and health too. And feeling lucky and thankful for having a supportive circle of friends and family, a loving pet, a roof over our head and food on our table is a natural, honest and pure selection for the top of any list, as is including God. We rarely include ourselves on these lists, however, because it is seen as egotistical or selfish—to thank our own hard work and determination occasionally can only encourage and empower us.
But, when we list things as scapegoats for our minds going blank at the thought of listing all we are grateful for, or because we don't want to admit what others list ever day just isn't on our radar right now, we can focus on smaller—guilty, even—pleasures we couldn't live without instead. Examples include: the cool side of your pillow, fresh bed sheets, the scent of a new (or an old) book, receiving a larger coffee than you ordered, the wag of your dog's tail, an unexpected discount at the checkout, that your car started first time this morning, or when a parcel arrives a day early.
As we are individual and unique, so too are the things we notice above all else. Where one may
appreciate the lighter evenings in summer and the smell of fresh cut grass, another may find gently falling snow and the snugness of a fluffy knitted scarf more to their taste. With personality comes preferences, and with preferences we can learn to acknowledge and make note of daily gratitude... however small it may seem to others.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE FEEL TARGETTED OR BLACKLISTED BY the universe or by God because things aren't going our way, or we receive some bad news. We wish that discomfort away and pray for a brighter and easier day tomorrow without pausing to select small purities within the poison; just identifying three nuggets of joy upon an otherwise dark canvass can lift us above any lasting damage and cleanse our spirits afresh for a new dawn.
It is also worth noting, however, that jealousy for another's luck and good fortune is normal, especially in times such as the above; writing about what someone currently has that we want allows us to safely and healthily express our need for better (or more). And writing about that inner twinge of pleasure we feel when those we dislike, fear, or who have wronged us in the past are met with misfortune instead is natural too.
"They got what they deserved."
"It's about time things went my way instead."
It is safer and kinder for us to express this kind of gratitude privately in our journals—a place where we can better understand it and detangle the complexity of our emotions—than to do so verbally.
Open Your Journal
Turn to a blank page in your notebook to answer the following questions:
Have you recently felt jealous of another person's luck and good fortune?
Are you guilty of resorting to the standard list of thankfulness?
Write about the last time you documented feeling grateful for your own hard work.
Need A Journal?
Support Girlboss.Guru's Mission: Wellbeing on Buy Me A Coffee. Leave your reviews and donate to keep the blog going.
You can also subscribe to receive e-mail updates and get a FREE additional gratitude printable, perfect for use with this blog post.